Only Human
by Jiia-chan
Summary: [ LightL Yaoi Lemon] In the end, it was because he was only human. He couldn't resist forever. He had to give in sometime. Oneshot.


Only Human.

Mwahahahahaha. My first DeathNote lemon! Whoohoo! Makes me SOO happy! Warning- this was written at four in the morning on an increasingly long line of sticky-notes. Read at your own risk.

It was because, in the end, he was only human…

Contrary to the beliefs of several members of their little family, he was only human, just like the rest of them.

He had his quirks and his peculiarities. No one had - or ever would - call the man known as 'L' normal. He was different and he was weird, but he wasn't an alien being. He had all the abilities and limitations of a normal person.

Now, L could do a lot of things. He could solve crimes no one else could begin to guess at. He could play tennis with the best of them, and had, on occasion. He could fight like Jet Li, if the circumstances called for it, and he could eat more sugar than anyone still alive to tell the tale. But everything is equal. For every talent there is a latent flaw.

In Light Yagami, a detached, manipulative nature off-set the student's natural charm. Rampant paranoia and a heady dose of egotism stole every bit of happiness and compassion he might have ever had. Light's flaws were fairly obvious, despite his efforts to hide them.

L had never made any attempt at hiding his own imperfections. He had always kept his flaws in plain view, under constant surveillance, where he had thought they could do no harm. He was who he was, and if that irritated people, then they could go ahead and be irritated. He didn't care.

It was yet another way in which L and Light were complete opposites. Light was outwardly charming and graceful, skilled in the art of the pleasantry, and, most of all, one handsome son of a bitch. On the other hand, L was gangly, unattractive. He was the very embodiment of the word 'awkward'. He lacked any kind of charm or natural social grace. Any interaction he went through with people ended up one of two ways. Either L got what he wanted and the person hated him, or he got what he needed and the person was afraid of him. Needless to say, this system did not lend itself well to establishing friendships.

His interaction with Light had gone _both_ ways, as well as an unexpected third way in which Light hated him, and L didn't get anything at all. It was highly infuriating.

Light had surprised him - a difficult thing to do. There was nothing about the boy that wasn't contrary to what L was. Sometimes it seemed like the only thing they had in common was their intellect and that all-important humanity.

Because, in the end, they were all human. Even Light.

L had resisted, of course. From the very first time he had laid eyes upon Light Yagami, he had felt it, a quiet pressure slowly building in his chest. L had thought it a reaction to this thing which made Kira, Kira. It had been what originally drew L to Light in the first place. But as the investigation moved on, he had gotten another feeling entirely. It was far more familiar to him than this strange growth in his ribcage. It settled in the pit of his stomach, decidedly lower than the dull ache underneath his sternum.

It had taken him a month to separate and identify the two feelings. The second had been his old pal Instinct, come to pay a visit. The first, however… The first had been something he had never felt before.

L wasn't a prude. He placed little value on societal constructs like sexual orientation. Still, it had come as a bit of a shock when he awoke from his first wet dream and realized it had been about Light. Not that he minded being gay. He had just kind of given up on ever having any sort of sexual feelings at all.

He continued on as usual. He just added one more item to his growing list of oddities.

The handcuffs had been a huge mistake. He had thought that he could control himself, at least enough to avoid any awkward moments. Besides, the more uncomfortable Light became, the more likely he was to slip up and reveal himself as Kira. What could be more uncomfortable than being chained to L?

L had greatly overestimated his self-control.

In an incredible lapse of judgement, L had forgotten about the mundane little things, like sleeping, bathing and changing clothes. As the days crawled by, L found himself staring for longer than he should have, at places he shouldn't have been looking at in the first place. Light seemed to take it in stride. He undoubtedly assumed the outright rudeness to be another of L's tactics.

It made L nervous, though. It was like he couldn't control his own eyes. And although some of the views afforded him by their unique situation were well worth it (in accordance with the case, of course), it was still unsettling knowing that a slight glimpse of Light's anatomy could affect him so.

And still, L had resisted, allowing himself the occasional fantasy but never believing that anything of that nature would ever, _could_ ever, be allowed to happen.

But then, late one night during which the only sounds were the hum of computers and the soft click of a keyboard, something unthinkable had happened.

Light and L had reached for the same report at almost exactly the same time. Their hands touched, Light's resting on top of L's ever so lightly. They had looked at each other, feeling a strange sort of thrill coursing through their veins. Light's fingers had been cool, he remembered. Cool, but not at all cold.

He had seen Light's lips form his assumed name more than heard it. Sound had become momentarily unimportant, and the whispered syllables were nothing compared to the subtle movements of those pale rosy petals.

He watched those lips hesitantly come forward, watched until his eyes slowly slid shut.

Another one of his senses was disregarded, and the others compensated for it. He could clearly smell the other boy, like he had never thought to do before. Light smelt like soap and spices and, strangely, of darkness, as if somehow shadows had an odour. It was thick on him, nearly overpowering, and at the same time it almost wasn't there at all. Another smell came at him as Light gently exhaled, the moist air sliding over L's lips like the ghost of a kiss.

'Interesting', he thought. 'His breath smells like tea.'

And then it was time for touch and for taste, the soft glide of Light's lips on the reincarnated form of its phantasmal predecessor. L knew he shouldn't be able to taste him. You taste with your tongue, not your lips. And yet some how he was tasting, tasting through the tender press of what before he had never even dared to dream of.

Slowly, as if encouraged by the fact that L had not pulled away, and yet cautious of his lack of reaction, Light deepened the kiss. He braced his arms against the arms of L's chair, looming over him and dominating him completely. Light's lips covered his own, touching him in ways he had never believed he could be touched. Watching people kiss in movies had given him a base understanding of the process, but he had never really been able to see why such an experience was pleasurable. To be honest, he had thought it all looked rather unpleasant. The real thing, however, was much more agreeable than he had thought.

Timidly at first, he kissed back, taking hints from Light as to proper technique. Spurred on by his hesitant actions, Light brought his wilful plunder to a whole new level.

The boy's tongue darted out to flick at L's lower lip, taking him completely by surprise. He had only just gotten the hang of lips, and wasn't entirely sure how he felt about this whole tongue business. It seemed rather unsanitary.

As if sensing his discomfort, Light pulled back. His eyes swept over L's face, searching for a sign, anything, that he had gone too far.

Suddenly, sight and sound and smell came rushing back. Everything seemed too bright, too loud.

"Ryuzaki?" Light whispered, and this time he actually heard it.

It was too much, far too much. The whir of the computers was like the roar of a waterfall, the dim glow of the monitors glaring at him like the light of a dozen suns. Light's smell, his darkness, was everywhere, all over him, and then it was inside him somehow, as if the shadow had spread through the kiss. Light's eyes, looking at him, were filled with mild concern, but without any sign of fear or hate.

"Why?" He whispered, his voice strangely hoarse.

It took a lot of effort to speak. It was a difficult thing to do in general, actually. There were so many thoughts whirling around inside his head that it was, for once, totally empty. Only one word, resonating through every nerve and across every synapse.

"Why?" Light echoed, laughing softly beneath his breath. "You're beautiful, Ryuzaki."

He kissed him again, more forcefully this time, pressing L back into the chair with the sheer power behind his lips and his dancing tongue. L let him dominate, let him win. He let him conquer his mouth, let him kiss and suck and bite with no resistance, only timid, hesitant responses. He let Light do this, because Light had said this thing.

He was beautiful…

No one had ever said something like that to him before. The only genuine compliments he had ever received were about his intelligence. He couldn't recall the last time someone had given him a positive comment on his appearance.

And so he let Light kiss him again and again, because he had said this thing, and besides, it was what he wanted, wasn't it?

L instantly knew it was. He wanted this more than anything, even more than his favourite strawberry cheesecake. He let Light kiss him because he wanted it and because Light had called him beautiful.

And then they were on the floor. L didn't quite know how they had gotten there. He assumed that they had fallen off his chair. It didn't really matter. Light was on top of him, holding him down, as if he were going to run away. His tongue was in his mouth and his hands were everywhere and L realized that he had better stop this soon or something really important might happen.

A minute passed, and another. L absently wondered where his shirt had gone. Seeing the garment stuck upon the long chain holding them together, L fumbled for his pants pocket - and the key - only to realize that they were missing too. He was in his boxers, and so was Light. He hadn't even noticed. This was a decidedly bad sign.

Light's hands were touching him all over. His chest, his sides, his arms. Anywhere that could be touched he touched, and he touched in quite a few places that had never been touched before.

L thought for a long moment, trying to remember why this was bad. It was just so hard to think with the cool heat of Light's hands running all over him.

Hearing the clink of the chain binding them together, he suddenly remembered and realized that this was probably a very bad thing. Introducing this new element into their relationship would complicate things, and his relationship with Light was already complicated enough.

He also realized, to his mild surprise, that he didn't really give a damn. He stopped resisting. After all, he was only human.

Somehow, they had managed to roll/crawl to a nearby sofa before the flimsy barriers that their boxers provided were finally torn off. Light pressed him into the soft leather, L pushing up against him whenever he felt like that was what he should be doing, which was pretty much all the time. Their lips crashing together again, they had begun the process of 'making love'.

L had never given much thought to what sex felt like, especially not this particular brand of sex. Still, even if he had, he never would have imagined it to be like it was.

Light's fingers had reamed him open, stretching him till he hurt and then keeping him like that till he didn't. His mouth was on L's neck and his shoulders, kissing and biting and leaving marks in places L would never be able to cover with his signature shirt. He could feel Light pressed against his thigh, hot and hard and bigger than he had thought.

L wondered how in the nine hells Light was going to fit.

He did, somehow, although it hurt like nothing else ever had in his whole life. Light murmured in his ear, telling him to relax, to calm down and enjoy it.

So L did, because he wanted this (Didn't he?) and Light had called him beautiful.

The pain faded, and an elusive sort of pressure began to build. With every tiny movement Light made, another little surge swept into his stomach, tightening the coil slowly forming in his gut. Light slowly rocked back and forth, almost sliding out entirely, building the pressure and kissing him still, always. And then he had stopped, too caught up in the rolling waves of pleasure overtaking them both to worry about kissing.

The pressure rose and the coil tightened, and the not-quite-forgotten ache in his chest grew and grew. L became aware that he was making a great deal of fairly embarrassing noises. So was Light, however, so he assumed it was normal and didn't try and hold them in. He wasn't entirely sure he could have anyway.

It was over as suddenly as it had begun. Light exploded inside him and L exploded too, the coil releasing and all the pressure built up inside blasting out in one sudden rush that startled him, to say the least.

For a long moment, they lay together, panting heavily and struggling just to get their heartbeats under control.

But then, Light was moving. Before L could even contemplate thinking again, let alone actually getting up, Light was sitting on the edge of the couch, searching for his pants. L stared, uncomprehending. He watched Light pull on his boxers and found his own being thrown at him, just like that.

Light caught him staring. Looking over his shoulder, he raised a slender, perfect eyebrow.

"What?" he asked, like this was the most normal thing in the world.

Maybe it was. L didn't know. It might be how it always goes. But if this was how it was supposed to be, so callous, so empty… Then why did people do it?

L felt tears begin to threaten the edge of his eyes. He pushed them back. He would allow Light this thing, this travesty against him. Because he had wanted this, before, hadn't he? He had. Because, even though he wasn't, Light had called him beautiful. And because, in the end, he was only human.

Both of them.

It needed to be angst. I am sorry about it, but it needed to be angst. I just can't see Light and L ever being able to have a fluffy, happy relationship. That wouldn't stop them from having a relationship in the first place, however. I've only read up to book six now, so if there is anything about this that doesn't conform to the story, then that's too bad. DON'T GIVE AWAY THE ENDING! Thank you.

Reviews are welcome, as always. Please tell me what you think.

Thank you so much to SilverSoleAlchemist, who is my beta and pointed out very much things I needed to fix. AND THE COMPLIMENTS! Gosh, are you good for the ego or what!

With love,

Jiia.


End file.
